Wanted: Bosom Friend

Anne tipped the vase of apple blossoms near enough to bestow a soft kiss on a pink-cupped bud, and then studied diligently for some moments longer.

"Marilla," she demanded presently, "do you think that I shall ever have a bosom friend in Avonlea?'

"A--what kind of friend?"

"A bosom friend--an intimate friend, you know--a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will too. Do you think it's possible?"

-- Anne of Green Gables VIII 
  

I've been feeling quite lonely lately. When we moved to Oregon last year I had a hard time finding people with similar interests as me. Moms were either members of the church and followed mainstream parenting beliefs, or followed attachment parenting but had completely different religious convictions. Now that we're back in Utah and I'm back with my close-knit group of friends, I'm still feeling like an outsider. I've always felt it was important to have close friends who have similar beliefs and values as me, so that I am free to express myself. I'll admit that Dave is my true Bosom Friend, the only person who really knows me, and the only one I would ever "confide my inmost soul" to... but it would still be nice to have a mom friend who thought like me... surely they must exist.

I've catagorized my values, beliefs and practices to four main areas: religion, parenting, natural living and politics. I've been able to find people with my same beliefs in two or maybe thre of those four areas, but never all four. 

Consider this my personals ad for a bosom friend... or at least closer friends. :-)

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1. Religion

I'm a proud, active, member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I was raised in the church, so were my parents, and so were their parents.

I attended BYU where I met my husband (Dave), and I've dreamed all my life of becoming a mother with a large family (6-8ish).

Incredibly boring, I know... but I'm more interesting in other ways. :-) I must also point out that a bosom friend does not need this same background... just similar values & beliefs.

2. Parenting

I follow Attachment Parenting philosophies & Gentle Discipline techniques. Following these I:

--birth naturally (two drug-free hospital births, one birth-center water-birth, plan to homebirth the next one)

--co-sleep

--babywear

--breastfeed for two years (though my first was bottle-fed from 4 months on), currently I have been tandem nursing for 9 months

--select/delay vax (none of my children have been vaccinated at this point)

--won't circumsise if we're ever blessed with a boy

--discipline gently & respectfully... or at least try really hard to

--plan to homeschool

3. Natural Living

I feel I am doing my part to help the environment, but I must acknowledge that this is not the reason for my choices. Honestly... as I may touch on in the politics section, I'm not really concerned about the environment... I make the choices I do because I feel better physically, and because they cost less. These choices include:

--cloth diapering - I make my own cloth diapers because they cost less, and are just as easy as disposable on a daily basis... however, I use disposables for vacations because there is no way I want to drive anywhere with soiled diapers in the car, and I'm not spending vacation time doing laundry if I don't have to. :)

--organic meals - I'm working harder to eat healthy and we usually avoid prepared meals and fast food if possible. However, the outrageous cost of "organic" usually prevents me from going all organic. Also, we like to occasionally splurge on Wendy's, Panda Express & Jamba Juice. ***At this point, I must also confess that I am a chocoholic. I am unashamedly addicted to semi-sweet & milk chocolate. I also have an extreme weakness for Reese's peanut butter in all its forms. ***

--supplements, vitamins - I use one protien powder added to fruit smoothies in the morning... if I remember to make smoothies, but other than that, I don't like adding anything to food or taking any supplements or vitamins... this is mostly because they taste horrible. My mother-in-law insists that you can add some substances to juice, etc and down them that way... however, my husband still has horrible memories of some nasty flavored grape & orange juices, and I would have to agree... I believe it's more important to eat healthy things that taste good rather than hating to eat/drink supplements, etc that taste horrible.

--natural toiletries (shampoo, deodorant, etc) - Here is one area we scrimp on... we buy the cheapest shampoo & soap, the best tasting toothpaste, and the best smelling deodorant. 

4. Politics

Here's the area where I differ from most of my UtahValleyAP friends... that's right ladies, it's time for me to come out of the closet. I'm a Republican. Actually, at heart I'm a Capitalist... but the Republican party is as close as I can get to that. I'm not particularly fond of McCain (I was seriously rooting for Romney), but I really don't like Obama, or any of the previous democratic candidates. 

I don't like debating in general... but I especially don't like political debates. When people begin any political discussion, I usually just sit quietly and listen to the arguments, or ignore them completely. 

I will admit that I don't usually do a ton of research on candidates or issues before I vote... it just doesn't interest me. However, listening to all the recent discussions during playgroups & things, I am leaning even further to the republican platform... and ironically, my main reasons for doing so seem to be my friends' main reasons for voting democrat. 

Case in point: When Palin was named as McCain's running mate, Shannon was explaining to our homeschool group all the reasons she didn't like Palin... yet every reason she gave for not liking Palin, was a reason I would like her. The argument I remember most was that Palin said that the global warming issue was not caused by humans, but was a result of the earth's natural cycles of warming & cooling.... I hate to say it guys, but I agree with Palin on this one. 

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Now, as I'm writing this, I must also admit that I do have one friend who agrees with me on almost every point... the only problem at this moment is that she won't be birthing her first baby until January, so most of the parenting things she agrees with in theory, but not in practice... yet...

Jami... currently you're the closest thing I've got to a bosom friend. I will be very sad and lonely when you guys move next summer.