Soaps & Bonbons

Several times in my childhood I remember my dad coming home from work to find the house a mess and dinner not even started. My parents would joke that my mom must have been sitting on the couch all day watching soap operas & eating bonbons.

That's pretty much how I feel right now. I haven't posted in over 3 months, and I pretty much have nothing to show for it. I've been sitting here all morning wondering what we've done since I last posted... and I can't think of much. I mean, I definitely watched too much HGTV, and too much Disney Jr., and I definitely ate way too much chocolate & sugar... but what else?

(What else is there?)

I guess the most important thing that happened in the last three months was that we went from this:

to this:

As many of you heard, Marie Frogley joined our family on 3 October 2011 at 2:53am. Yes, that was her due date (little stinker). She was 8 lbs 1 oz (by far our biggest baby) and 19 1/4" long. She was born into a birth tub in our bedroom at home, after about 8 hours of labor.

We all ADORE our newest addition. She is incredibly sweet, and very quiet compared to the rest of our brood. She can be VERY loud when she needs something, but most of the time she is content to sit and observe the chaos around her... as long as she can see what's going on.

Just because I know you all love baby photos as much as I do, here's a couple more of her:

5 Oct 2011 (2 days old) - J1 & M

6 Oct 2011 (3 days old)

9 Oct 2011 (6 days old) - First day at church, wearing a dress that used to be mine.

13 Oct 2011 (10 days old) - Skinny jeans

14 Oct 2011 (11 days old)

15 Oct 2011 (12 days old) - Daddy cuddles

23 Oct 2011 (nearly 3 weeks) - Blessing day

23 Oct 2011 - J2 & M

23 Oct 2011 - Dave, C & M

And from her photo shoot @ 3 weeks (26 Oct):

J2 & M

J1 & M

C & M

D & M

K & M

Dave & M (one of my favorites!)

We have done a few other things, but that's about all I have time to post right now. Hopefully it won't be another 3 months before I post again. :) I think I'll leave you with my favorite picture of my new beautiful daughter.

In the Zone

No, I haven't had the baby yet.

Since I am still pregnant, I guess it's time for me to update the blog.

In all of my previous pregnancies, I have had babies between 8 days and 1 day before the due date I came up with (not always the same as the OB's date). My "official" date this time is October third. By our calculations, our "birth Zone" started on Sunday, and stretches to this next Sunday. If baby waits until after Conference weekend, she'll simply create a larger Zone (though, my last two births were 2 days before, and 1 day before, so she could follow that pattern and just go longer than the previous one, and be on her due date, or just after). So, I'm currently sitting around waiting to go into labor at any time, which is incredibly annoying, and frustrating. I'm at that point where I just want to have baby out. I'm tired, sore, and totally cranky.

I did have some maternity pictures taken just over a week ago, but I'm combining that session with a newborn session, and I won't get any of the pics until we're done taking all of them, so I don't have any good belly pictures to show.

So, here's a bad belly picture from this morning. Bad lighting, bad hair, no make-up, weird face... but at least you can see the 39 week belly.

So as not to end this post quite so depressing... we do have good news. We moved into our new house about a month ago now, last night we committed to buying a new (to us) van, and we received the official letter from BYU stating that Dave finished all master's & thesis requirements and will receive his diploma when they are mailed out after December graduations!

The only "new" thing for this year that we're still waiting on is baby...

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

A lot of things have happened since I last blogged. Thankfully, they all tie into nearing the end of our time in Limbo.

Dave ended up getting job offers from three different positions within Intel, one in Chandler, and two in Hillsboro. After flying to Arizona for an interview, Dave decided Arizona was way too hot and dry for us. We love the green of the north-west and the cooler temps, and even the rain. But he also learned that the Chandler group had people working in Oregon also, so that was still an option. Dave selected one of the positions and started working a permanent job with Intel, in Hillsboro, about a month ago now.

The last week in July Dave flew back to Utah to defend his thesis. The defense went well and he is now officially done with his Master's degree. We'll be getting the diploma shortly after Christmas, but he's DONE!

The next big thing to deal with is our housing arrangements. We are currently still staying with my parents, but we have plans to move in just over two weeks... into our own house!

We found an adorable, affordable, super-tiny, 4 bedroom, 2 bath house with a great yard, only a 10 minute walk from Intel. We're nearly done with the mortgage/inspection/appraisal/repair process and we're completely on track to close August 30th. We're planning to move over Labor Day weekend. :)

Limbo: How long can you go? AKA: Chronicles of a Ping Pong ball

So, the first 4 years of our marriage were fairly uneventful. We were both students when we got married, we lived in student housing for the first year and a half, then moved to an awesome basement apartment where we stayed for 2 1/2 years. During our time in the basement, I graduated from BYU, we had two beautiful daughters, and Dave got his bachelor's degree as well.

Then the adventures began.

We both decided we wanted to move to Oregon, so as Dave's first graduation drew closer, we packed everything up, rented a truck, and said goodbye to our lovely basement. Approximately 48 hours before rolling out of Utah, Dave got a job offer for a 6 month internship with Intel. During that time, we lived with my parents to save money, and dreamed of what it would be like when Dave finished the internship, got a "real" job, and life could really start. We also had our third beautiful daughter. :)

Unfortunately, 2 months after the internship ended and C was born, we realized there were no "real" jobs for Dave in Oregon at that time. Somehow, there were jobs in Utah. After an interview-packed few days in Utah, Dave accepted a position with a company in Lehi, and we moved back to Provo. Once back in Provo, Dave realized the real reason we needed to be in Utah was for him to go back to school and get his Master's.

Yuck... more school.

We moved from our adorable little twin-home, to a cheaper town-home closer to campus (and somehow back in our old ward), and began the student life again. About a week into Dave's first semester in grad school, we found out we were pregnant again. When our first ultrasound a few months later told us we were expecting twins, we decided to move yet again, to save more money on rent... and ended up back in the same basement apartment we had left 2 years before.

One year in the basement apartment and Dave was making great progress on grad school. All course-work was nearly complete and he just had the dang thesis left to wade through. Learning that doing the thesis remotely was an option, we decided to move back to Oregon, with another Intel internship. Unfortunately, that internship came to a close with ZERO progress made on the thesis, and Dave decided it would be best to be back in Utah where he could be on campus with his professors all day while working on thesis.

Thankfully, our awesome relocation package from the Intel internship had left us with no consumer debt, and a healthy savings account. Also, some very dear friends of ours agreed to let us live in their fully furnished basement, rent free, for one semester so we could live off of our savings so Dave wouldn't have to hold a job AND work on the thesis. And my parents agreed to store all of our belongings in their dining room until further notice. (Actually, my mom claims she's holding it all hostage until we move her grandchildren closer to her.)

Our time in our friends' basement ended the first week of May, and we decided to head back to Oregon... again... (third time's a charm, right?)

This time, Dave had been applying for lots more "permanent" jobs with Intel, and we were praying that an offer would come quickly so that we could really start to settle down somewhere and our days as Ping-Pong balls would be over. Unfortunately, we apparently have to endure Limbo for a bit longer.

Dave's thesis is coming along, and he's currently on track to defend exactly one month from today, though he's terrified that something horrible with happen and he'll have to start all over. Assuming all goes as planned (and I'm confident it will all be fine), he will be walking at August graduation (one more trip to Utah...), though his diploma will officially say "December 2011."

On the job front though... Dave has had several 4-hour technical interviews, with no offers... until yesterday.

Finally, after years of back & forth, and after months of uncertainty, and weeks of nothing... Dave got an offer for a permanent position with Intel here in Hillsboro, OR.

But, our Limbo days are not quite over yet. Dave's job search has been going so well the past couple weeks, that he actually has two more on-site interviews with Intel this week, both of which could result in more offers. One of those interviews is actually in Chandler, AZ. We don't expect to hear anything from those interviews until at least the middle of next week, simply because both Monday and Tuesday are holidays for Intel... but hopefully, we'll hear back on Wednesday and then we'll be making our final decisions.

At this point, it's nice to know that our worst-case scenario still includes a permanent job with Intel. :) But the question now is will that job be in Hillsboro or Chandler? We're on track to move and settle somewhere before this next baby makes her appearance (have I mentioned on the blog that it's a girl?), but where will it be?

Hopefully, I'll be able to let you know in a little over a week. :)

16 Weeks

This is my least favorite part of the belly pic stages. I feel more fat than pregnant... not enough belly to be obviously pregnant, but enough that I don't have a true waist. At least I can fit into some of my maternity pants... so much more comfortable!

And please excuse the wild hair... I have no idea what my hair is doing this morning.

Accountable Kids - Our Chore System

Just so everyone knows... I totally cheated on the chore system. I did NOT come up with it on my own. :)

I have thought through many different chore systems over the years. One included paying my children approximately $.10 per chore, per age, per day... so a 6 year old would make $.60 for doing chore x, on Tuesday... looking back now, that one was WAY too complicated, and would have been nearly impossible to keep track of with so many kids. Others were much simpler... do your chores, or else. You can guess how well that one worked.

I have finally found a chore system that I really love and that I believe will really work for our family for a LONG time. At this point, it works amazingly well, when *I* am consistent. The good thing about this is that when it doesn't work, I have no one to blame but myself (maybe that's not a good thing).

Anyway, last year, while living in Oregon, a friend of mine tried to explain what she was doing for her chore system with her barely 5 year old (right in between K & D), and her 3 1/2 year old (right between D & C). She was raving over this system and how amazing it was. I was totally skeptical. She only had two kids, I had 5 already. She could focus on her two and help them through their chores, while I was constantly distracted by infant twins among other things. But, this system was not hers either... she had implemented someone else's system also. And the best part... the system had a book that explained it. It also had chore boards and chore cards available for purchase.

So, I borrowed the book, and fell in love. It was so much like many of the systems I had tried to implement in the past (or just design, before I had kids old enough), but it was also super flexible, adaptable for different ages, and much more child driven.

The system is called "Accountable Kids." You can immediately go to their website if you like: http://accountablekids.com/ They've got a quickstart video in two parts at http://accountablekids.com/quickstart.aspx It's about 12 minutes total, and explains the program much better than I can.

When I first fell in love with this program, I decided that I didn't want to spend the money for chore kits for each of my girls, so I tried making our own. It worked all right... but not great, so eventually I caved and bought three chore kits. I even had their names engraved on the boards. I can't even explain why the "real" chore boards and cards worked so much better, but they did! My girls LOVED the boards, and occasionally I would wake up with one of them asking to be inspected for their morning cards so they could get their first ticket of the day.

We've now been using the program for about 5 months, and we've had the "real" boards for about 3 months. The novelty of the system has worn off a bit, but as long as I am consistent about requiring tickets for different activities, it still works! When I am totally lax, and allow things without tickets, then yes, they resist doing their chores. But even when I am consistent, I don't have to nag! If they want to color, but don't have a ticket to pay for the crayons (coloring is definitely a privilege in our house), I just remind them that they don't have a ticket (usually something like, "I'm sorry, you don't have a ticket for that"). Then they figure out what needs to be done to earn a ticket. The power of natural consequences!

Adventures in Sleep Training

So, my last blog post sparked quite a few comments and questions about how I run my household, and how in the world I stay sane trying to keep up with so many things and so many children. First, let me assure you that I am NOT superwoman. There is a superwoman though... her blog is linked under "fun blogs" below as "how to be superwoman." Our days do not always run this smoothly (this particular day was as close to ideal as I ever get), and I'm convinced that a portion of the reason it went so well is because I knew I'd be taking pictures of it. :)

Anyway, I have several future blog posts coming that I hope will answer some of your questions, but for now, I felt that the sleep training questions should be addressed sooner rather than later. :)

So, the original question was: So, expert on managing small ones (many simultaneously), at what age do you start training your kids to fall asleep on their own? I never have had any success with that...not that I've tried too hard. Do you end up having to have them cry it out or something for a while as they adjust? With Leif, especially, I wish he would go down for a nap by himself. Assuming I have another kid, I want to know what might work better and help save my sanity.

The short answer to this question is: when they are ready.

The long answer could get really long, but lets just say... a long time. I was NEVER able to get K or D to take naps without me laying down with them. They didn't start falling asleep without Dave or me in the room for bedtime until about a year or so ago. C has shared a room with K & D since we moved her out of our room at 15 months, and we still had to lay down with her until she fell asleep until nearly 2 1/2. Even now... the only way we've been able to get them to fall asleep without us, is to have them cuddle with each other.

Recently, C has tried to give up her naps altogether, but I KNOW she still needs them. If she doesn't nap, she has a melt-down around 4pm and then often crashes around 6 only to wake up rested around 9... which I don't like for obvious reasons. I have discovered that if she simply holds still, with few distractions, she'll often fall asleep on her own. So, now I read her a short story on her bed, then have her lie down with her book and her blanket and make sure that the older girls are quiet. Usually she'll fall asleep fairly quickly. Occasionally she'll sit and read to herself and we can hear her talking to herself. Either way, I usually make her stay in her room for an hour or two while the boys sleep and we get other school-work done.

As for the boys... up until about 2-3 months ago they nearly always fell asleep while nursing. About that time, the boys stopped falling asleep when nursing at night. They would just unlatch themselves and start to play on the bed. One night I got really tired of it, so when they unlatched, I declared it was bedtime, and just put them in the pack & play. They happily played together for a few minutes and then lay down and fell asleep. I was still in the room at the time, but absolutely amazed that they would do that. After that, I started putting them in the pack & play as soon as they unlatched. I was also working towards night weaning them and that's when we introduced their sippy cups with water. Some nights they would fall asleep quickly, other nights they would play for a bit first, and other times they would scream at me and get very upset. As long as they were happy, I just left them alone, and let them figure out how to lay down on their own. When they were upset, I stood over the pack & play and rubbed their backs, tummies & heads, and helped them lie down over and over until they calmed down and fell asleep (a couple of nights this lasted about 45 minutes), but they very quickly learned that when they went IN the pack & play, they were NOT getting out again until they'd fallen asleep.

Once this started working at bedtime (with me ALWAYS in the room, but not always standing right next to them... sometimes I was on the other side of the room folding laundry or something, and sometimes I was in bed trying to sleep myself), then I started trying it for naps. This just required me to unlatch them before they actually fell asleep, and then wrap them in their blankets the same way I did for bedtimes. But this time, I started leaving the room. There was a bit of cry-it-out for this phase of "sleep training." The boys were often upset at me for ending their nursing session, and they were tired, but the room wasn't dark, and I wasn't in the room with them. I would listen outside the door and if their cries were partly upset, but mostly tired cries... I just left them. If they were hysterical screams, I would go back, help them lie down again, and stay with them until they fell asleep... but I did NOT pick them up. They also tried throwing their sippy cups & stuffed frogs & blankets out of the pack & play... but I decided that if I kept giving those back, they would continue throwing them... so I didn't.

It took several weeks of this before they accepted naptime and bedtime happily, and we learned a couple things together. The boys do NOT like sleeping in total dark... so I leave a desk lamp on at night when I put them down. They also wanted a full sippy cup of water, and they wanted their stuffed frogs, and to be wrapped completely in their special blankets. These blankets have been used for them and been their special blankets since they were born, and the stuffed frogs were birthday presents for them, and to help the boys attach to them I had them hold them while nursing as much as possible. We also learned that we must hit naptime & bedtimes as close to normal as possible, or it doesn't work so well. Too early, and the boys just don't sleep... too late, and they get more upset that I'm not with them.

The other key thing for me in this, and the main reason I believe the sleep training has worked for them, when it didn't with my other girls... there are two of them. NONE of my kids like sleeping alone. K prefers to have her own bed now that she is almost 6... but she still climbs into bed occasionally with D & C. In our current living arrangement, D & C are actually sharing one twin bed. They're small enough that they could each take one end of the bed and be just fine, but they prefer to cuddle with each other every night. And I honestly believe that the main reason my boys will consent to falling asleep without me in the room is because they have each other.

There have been occasions where one boy is exhausted and the other is not, but if I only put one of them in the pack & play... they cry. If I put both of them in... even if one is not tired at all, the sleepy one will usually still fall asleep, and often the not tired one will also. :)

I honestly don't believe my children will ever be truly happy sleeping alone, and that's okay. Maybe that's an extra benefit of having children close together... they can help each other. :)